cinco de mayo

The title to this post has nothing to do with the title. It's just the fifth of May and I was feeling festive. 


Today was a chill day. I got stuff done and that's exactly what I wanted to happen. I finished two assignments, got a little extra credit, took my online final exam, passed with an A. Other than that I became an FBI Investigator and solved crimes on TV with Criminal Minds.

I've been thinking a lot lately, more than usual, on what I want to do with my life. I've decided to not attend school next semester. I want to take a break. There's not many reasons as to why. The main reason is that school is just not what I want to do right now. I'm still going to live in Milwaukee which I love, but i'll have more time to go back home to Madison and that's one thing that makes me happy.

Lately, I feel like I've been losing touch with people that are close to me and it really upsets me. It's one of those situations where I have no control over and I hate that. I hate that I can't change how people treat me and I can't change changing times. These people used to be my best friends and now they've found better people and I'm not enough for them anymore and it's one of the most heartbreaking feelings in the world. But like I said, it's out of my control and I need to take it as it is. I saw something on tumblr the other day. "People will love you and people will hate you but none of it will have anything to do with you." I can't change the way people act/feel towards me.

Other than that, Twenty One Pilots is coming to Milwaukee on October 4th! I just about peed my pants hearing about that.

Good luck to everyone on their finals. I love you regardless the grade you get! You're still a great person with an amazing personality!

I don't have a cool picture to show today, I'll try and get one tomorrow!

Have a great day and week and life!

X

Got to see an amazing sunset tonight. Reminded me that even on the roughest days the sun still shines. 

Making people happy

Today I learned that the ultimate goal is just making people happy. There's not enough happiness in the world and it starts with one smile or one compliment. 

I've also learned that I need to stop searching for the answers. They'll arrive when they're ready. I've learned that patience is key and that taking a breathe is the best stress reliever. 

So today's advice:

1. Compliment people 

2. Take a breathe

3. Buy yourself some coffee cause life's not that bad. 👍

may first

Today's May 1st! Another month has begun. 

It's been raining for the past couple of days. I miss the sun. The sun is the positive thing in my life sometimes. Isn't that sad? I hope the sun comes back soon. 

Along with a rainy week comes all the overthinking. These past days have been really bad. I overthink every decision I make and have ever made. Since no one reads this blog, I might as well put them out there because I need to get them off my chest.

I want to take a break from school. I feel dumb. I'm so far behind in the major I want to go into but I don't have the patience or attention span to sit in a class and get work done. I love learning. I really do but I'm too dumb to go to class. I'm tired of wasting money that i'll have to pay back in the end. I know my parents will be disappointed but it's not for me right now. I'm not happy and I just want to be happy. 

My love life is not happening right now either. I always end up falling for the people who could care less about me. It just sucks. I'm tired of always being alone. 

I feel so alone and empty and tired. I'm always tired and I'm never happy. I'm not happy with the way I look, the way I feel, any of my decisions. I need something and I don't know what it is. But i need it soon. I just want to know someone's there for me. 

This is a really depressing post. I'm sorry but I needed to get it out there. No one else seems to ever listen to me. People are way too busy these days. They just don't care. It's sad. It's a sad world. 

Seeing on my weather app that next will be sunnier maybe my hopes will pick up. 

Well whatever happens, I hope that you all have a great week. You're all an amazing piece of work. You may just be a small little part of the universe but to some people you're a big part of their world. 

xx Brooke. 

t o m o r r o w

Tomorrow is the day I make the changes I want in my life.

Tomorrow I will be working out.

Eating healthier.

Painting.

Feeling better about myself.

Smiling more.

It should've began along time ago but tomorrow is the day and I couldn't be any more excited. We'll see how far this blog makes it.